I was reflecting this weekend on a couple of weeks full of #BlackGirlMagic and feeling so grateful to have been in the presence of …
Shanute Brewer, who is exposing her young VISIONaries to STEM subjects like coding;
Jamila Trimuel who is helping 9-18 year-old girls discover their purpose, passion and perserverance;
April Ervin, who just published her first book and is trying to help Superwomen save themselves;
Eva Kennedy, who is focused on helping women in transition find clarity;
the women of Mox.E who empower women to live their purpose;
Dr. Yashika N. Tippett, the founding principal of AFAHS, who just brought the first flight training program to the Chicagoland area;
Tammera Holmes, the founder and CEO of AeroStar, who is creating bonafide pilots for an airline industry with a looming shortage of them;
Young Women Professionals League members, who are focused on developing siSTAR leaders holistically;
Aunt Oprah and BFF Michelle Obama, who are showing the way;
my sister Vanessa Smith, who has successfully led her business for over 20 years
and my daughter, Renise Alexander, who is pursuing her passion for travel by any means necessary!
I am so grateful for your examples of excellence, persistence and resilience. You inspire hope…you inspire greatness.
I’m a lifelong learner who prefers reading as my primary source of information. I suspect the solitude of reading recharges me in a way I don’t receive from other media.
So I am grateful to be here in the time of leadership gurus like my some of my favs, John Maxwell, Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman and T.D. Jakes.
I am grateful that I can pull up over 40 English versions (plus audio!) of the Bible on my phone (thanks Pastor Craig for YouVersion)!
I’m grateful the Tao Te Ching has been interpreted by the late Wayne Dyer, that Marianne Williamson has shared her lessons from A Course in Miracles and that Iyanla VanZant has made lessons of her own life.
And when I’m not reading, I’m so grateful that a black woman created her OWN media empire which exposes me to thought leaders from a variety of perspectives.
I’m sopping up every drop of wisdom they have to offer, then offering what I’ve learned to anyone who wants it and thanking God for my “team” and my circle of influence!
Inhale Gratitude, Exhale Taking for Granted… Inhale Wisdom, Exhale Withholding Knowledge… Inhale Influence, Exhale Ignoring Needs… Just Breathe
A friend of mine said she was mad at God when the choice she made didn’t work out the way she planned. And I started to question her… then I remembered the stupid thing I did when I didn’t pay attention to my inner knowing, the God voice whispering, the feeling in my gut.
I thought about the clear revelation I didn’t hear … the thing right in front of me that I didn’t see … the mistakes made more than once.
And I shut my mouth.
“People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed?” Proverbs 19:3 MSG
Inhale Discernment, Exhale Disregarding Your Knowing… Inhale Action, Exhale Discounting Your Options… Inhale Ownership, Exhale Diminishing Your Responsibility… Just Breathe
My leadership experience began early in life; as the oldest of five and the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, I was often “voluntold” to lead my siblings and/or cousins in some activity, an exercise usually like herding cats but nowhere near as smooth as that EDS commercial from a few years ago…the one where cowboys are herding cats…but I digress!
That early leadership experience showed me that, with no authority, I needed some other ways to influence my “team” to carry out our responsibilities. I needed to communicate with clarity. I needed to keep my emotions in check. I needed to be more compassionate sister.
Leadership is influence. But influence outside of relationship is almost impossible. So this mission-oriented, borderline introvert had to step out of my comfort zone to find the relationship approach that authentically worked for my personality and allowed me to connect with the folks I was privileged to lead.
That meant one-on-one, or small group interactions, which allowed me to be really engaged with each individual.
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” ~ John Maxwell
You are a leader… even if you’re just leading yourself. Leading yourself is the most important, most difficult leadership task. Leading yourself well means being who you say you are and doing what you say you will. It requires some self-awareness and includes being disciplined, being committed and being accountable to yourself and in alignment with your purpose.
Inhale Integrity, Exhale Irresponsibility… Inhale Alignment, Exhale Abandonment… Inhale Your Best You, Exhale A Lessor You… Just Breathe
After planning and executing a few high profile events, I briefly considered event planning as a post Air Force career option. Then I discovered the stress of a demanding career and single parenthood had contributed to a diagnosis of thyroid disease. I recognized I hadn’t handled my busy life as smoothly as I thought I had.
So I reconsidered my phase two career options, resolved to live a more balanced life and reduced activities and acquisitions to what was absolutely necessary to live on purpose.
I was in the 4th or 5th grade when I realized that lashing out at my siblings when they interrupted my solitude didn’t get me more quiet time; it only got me in trouble. So I resolved to do a better job of controlling my emotions. I frequently failed.
It took me a while to understand that instead of repressing my emotions, I needed to recognize what I was reacting to and choose a rational response that incorporated my feelings and reason. And that mastery is a life long endeavor…
“…every emotion offers information about you that is important. When you ignore your emotions, you ignore that information.” ~ Gary Kukav, The Heart of the Soul
We can’t prevent, avoid or circumvent our emotions. Our sadness, frustration, anger, hurt, jealousy, etc., are all a part of the human experience. Our emotions are telling us something about how we are processing our experiences. We don’t have to act on them…but we must go through them to get to wholeness.
“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” ~ Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
Finding a quiet space when you’re a part of a large family can be difficult but necessary when you tend toward introversion. I have always been an avid reader; as a child I would take my latest biography and try to find a hiding spot where I could lose myself in someone else’s life.
Of course, I didn’t have the awareness to know I was an ambivert or the words to explain why I needed to be alone and I seldom had the agency to not have to explain. I just knew I needed time away from younger siblings, chores and homework and felt relieved when I had quiet time and frustrated when I didn’t.