The fear that stops us doesn’t have to be about something big or super scary…sometimes we’re just afraid of offending or having a conversation that could turn into a confrontation.
I assumed a non-response to a follow up email about swapping a class with another instructor meant the answer was NO. In fact, the non-response was because the instructor did not see my follow up; I found out later, she had anticipated and planned for the swap but forgot to communicate with me.
A simple follow up text or phone call on my part could have yielded the answer I wanted, saved me some energy and allowed me to do what I wanted and needed to do.
I didn’t challenge the assumption so I didn’t get to do what I wanted. I have only myself to blame.
brake: a device for slowing or stopping a vehicle or other moving mechanism by the absorption or transfer of the energy of momentum, usually by means of friction.
I do a workshop called “Release the B.R.A.K.E.S.” which is about all the fear-based beliefs, assumptions, expectations etc. we have that slow us down or even stop us. And even though I understand how the B.R.A.K.E.S. work, it doesn’t mean I’m immune to the negative impact of applying and allowing the B.RA.K.E.S. to stop me from doing the things I want to do.
So I have vowed to challenge everything that gets in my way this year! You have been warned!
“Fear gets its power from our not looking, at either the fear or what we’re afraid of.” ~ Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening
In their recent comments to the press, I’ve noticed a lot of Alabama players quoting a Nick Sabanism, “Be Where Your Feet Are.” I know it’s not a new principle from Coach Saban but I don’t recall this particular reflection being repeated as consistently by players prior to this season.
The mental discipline to let go of what just happened, good or bad, and stay in the present moment, to focus on this play, this point, this game is something I admire about the most successful athletes. The maturity to adopt this level of wisdom and incorporate it into their own value system is something I admire specifically about Nick Saban’s disciples.
Inhale Now Exhale Next… Inhale Present, Exhale Past… Inhale Here, Exhale Elsewhere… Just Breathe
There have been many words written to describe the characteristics of Alabama QB Jalen Hurts over the last year. Resilient. Patient. Humble. I’ve written a couple of times about his commitment. But after actually hearing Jalen share his OWN narrative about his journey since being replaced midway during the 2018 National Championship game, I think the word that best describes him is Faithful.
The faith to realize there is a Divine order to his life.
The faith to recognize the experience he’s having is the experience he needs.
The faith to rest in the present as his story unfolds in accordance with God’s unlimited vision for his life.
Voted Most Inspirational by his teammates AFTER losing his starting job, Jalen has never lost his faith.
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matthew 6:34, MSG
One of the awesome things about planning our parent’s joint 80th birthday party was discovering information, hearing stories and finding pictures we had not known, heard or seen. I came across this never-before-seen-by me picture of my impossibly fresh faced, impressively attired, and incredibly gorgeous Mom and Dad before they became parents.
It was a reminder that my Mom had an identity before she became a mother, and enjoyed activities that didn’t involve my siblings and me. And that my Dad was barely out of college when he temporarily sought employment in Chicago to support his growing family.
The picture led me to a greater appreciation of all the sacrifices they made that allowed us to soar.
Inhale Gratitude, Exhale Taking for Granted… Inhale Appreciation, Exhale Disregard… Inhale Acknowledgment, Exhale Dismissal… Just Breathe
I’ve been reflecting the last few days on a couple of weeks full of #BlackGirlMagic and feeling so grateful to have been in the presence of amazing women, like…
Shanute Brewer, who is exposing her young VISIONaries to STEM subjects like coding;
Jamila Trimuel who is helping 9-18 year-old girls discover their purpose, passion and perserverance;
April Ervin, who just published her first book and is trying to help Superwomen save themselves;
Eva Kennedy, who is focused on helping women in transition find clarity;
the women of Mox.E who empower women to live their purpose;
Dr. Yashika N. Tippett, the founding principal of Air Force Academy High School, who just brought the first flight training program to the Chicagoland area;
Tammera Holmes, the founder and CEO of AeroStar, who is creating bonafide pilots for an airline industry with a looming shortage of them;
Young Women Professionals League members, who are focused on developing siSTAR leaders holistically;
Aunt Oprah and FFL (Forever First Lady) Michelle Obama, who are showing the way;
my sister Vanessa Smith, who has successfully led her business for over 20 years
and my daughter, Renise Alexander, who is pursuing her passion for travel by any means necessary!
I am so grateful for your examples of excellence, persistence and resilience. You inspire hope…you inspire greatness.
I’m a lifelong learner who prefers reading as my primary source of information. I suspect the solitude of reading recharges me in a way I don’t receive from other media.
So I am grateful to be here in the time of leadership gurus like my some of my favs, John Maxwell, Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman and T.D. Jakes.
I am grateful that I can pull up over 40 English versions (plus audio!) of the Bible on my phone (thanks Pastor Craig for YouVersion)!
I’m grateful the Tao Te Ching has been interpreted by the late Wayne Dyer, that Marianne Williamson has shared her lessons from A Course in Miracles and that Iyanla VanZant has made lessons of her own life.
And when I’m not reading, I’m so grateful that a black woman created her OWN media empire which exposes me to thought leaders from a variety of perspectives.
I’m sopping up every drop of wisdom they have to offer, then offering what I’ve learned to anyone who wants it and thanking God for my “team” and my circle of influence!
Inhale Gratitude, Exhale Taking for Granted… Inhale Wisdom, Exhale Withholding Knowledge… Inhale Influence, Exhale Ignoring Needs… Just Breathe
A friend of mine said she was mad at God when the choice she made didn’t work out the way she planned. And I started to question her… then I remembered the stupid thing I did when I didn’t pay attention to my inner knowing, the God voice whispering, the feeling in my gut.
I thought about the clear revelation I didn’t hear … the thing right in front of me that I didn’t see … the mistakes made more than once.
And I shut my mouth.
“People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed?” Proverbs 19:3 MSG
Inhale Discernment, Exhale Disregarding Your Knowing… Inhale Action, Exhale Discounting Your Options… Inhale Ownership, Exhale Diminishing Your Responsibility… Just Breathe
My leadership experience began early in life; as the oldest of five and the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, I was often “voluntold” to lead my siblings and/or cousins in some activity, an exercise usually like herding cats but nowhere near as smooth as that EDS commercial from a few years ago…the one where cowboys are herding cats…but I digress!
That early leadership experience showed me that, with no authority, I needed some other ways to influence my “team” to carry out our responsibilities. I needed to communicate with clarity. I needed to keep my emotions in check. I needed to be more compassionate sister.
Leadership is influence. But influence outside of relationship is almost impossible. So this mission-oriented, borderline introvert had to step out of my comfort zone to find the relationship approach that authentically worked for my personality and allowed me to connect with the folks I was privileged to lead.
That meant one-on-one, or small group interactions, which allowed me to be really engaged with each individual.
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” ~ John Maxwell