The fear that stops us doesn’t have to be about something big or super scary…sometimes we’re just afraid of offending or having a conversation that could turn into a confrontation.
I assumed a non-response to a follow up email about swapping a class with another instructor meant the answer was NO. In fact, the non-response was because the instructor did not see my follow up; I found out later, she had anticipated and planned for the swap but forgot to communicate with me.
A simple follow up text or phone call on my part could have yielded the answer I wanted, saved me some energy and allowed me to do what I wanted and needed to do.
I didn’t challenge the assumption so I didn’t get to do what I wanted. I have only myself to blame.
brake: a device for slowing or stopping a vehicle or other moving mechanism by the absorption or transfer of the energy of momentum, usually by means of friction.
I do a workshop called “Release the B.R.A.K.E.S.” which is about all the fear-based beliefs, assumptions, expectations etc. we have that slow us down or even stop us. And even though I understand how the B.R.A.K.E.S. work, it doesn’t mean I’m immune to the negative impact of applying and allowing the B.RA.K.E.S. to stop me from doing the things I want to do.
So I have vowed to challenge everything that gets in my way this year! You have been warned!
“Fear gets its power from our not looking, at either the fear or what we’re afraid of.” ~ Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening
Iyanla Vanzant used “Inhale, Exhale” in a tweet and I created an entire story around why I would no longer be able to use the phrase …
I talked myself off the edge by taking some deep breaths…and remembering that using our breath to create a sense of calm is as old as breathing, and yet it might still be new to the people I’m called to share it with.
And that “Just Breathe” is my God-given gift to act on regardless of what others might be doing.
“What God has for me, it is for me…” Lyrics by Joy Lavonne Brown Cooper
At the root of all of the reasons you’re not doing what you need to do is fear …
Fear that someone will say no.
Fear that the people currently in your life will no longer be in your life.
Fear that someone will feel inconvenienced or disappointed and the relationship will be damaged.
Fear that those you expect assistance from won’t offer it.
Fear that you will build it and they won’t come.
Fear that pursuing your dreams won’t sustain you.
“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn.” ~ Marianne Williamson
Projection of our fears onto someone else or even into the future usually leads to fear-based decisions. We “what if” our way out of focus, make decisions with our blurred vision and wonder how it all went wrong.
“The Man said, “The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it.” God said to the Woman, “What is this that you’ve done?” “The serpent seduced me,” she said, “and I ate.” Genesis 3: 12-13
Inhale Real, Exhale Fear… Inhale Reality, Exhale Projection… Inhale Right Now, Exhale “What If”… Just Breathe
Isn’t it interesting how fearful we get the minute we attract exactly the experience we say we want? We start to doubt it, question it, wonder why we’re actually experiencing what we’re experiencing and how on earth we’re going to keep it experiencing it.
Or … is that just me? Okay… deep breaths…
“Let us realize that engagement and detachment aren’t opposite-the more engaged we become, the more detached we will have to be…” ~ Deepak Chopra