Training Superwoman

I get a lot of “you’re so strong” comments, mostly from white women, occasionally from other women of color…almost never from other black women. Our Black Girl Magic, SuperWoman training starts early. Be Strong…Be Tough…Don’t Cry…are lessons we are taught to prepare us for a world that doesn’t permit black girls to just be girls.

I sometimes wonder if we are responding to reality or creating our reality…

He told me not to cry…He taught me to be strong…Tough girl is what I had to be…” ~ Beyonce, Daddy Lessons

Inhale Strength, Exhale Isolation…
Inhale Resilience, Exhale Loneliness…
Inhale Boundaries, Exhale Barriers…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflection With Renita

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Everyday Superwoman

I often say women would rather be called the B-word than selfish. But the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves to meet the sometimes imagined expectations of our various roles sometimes becomes too heavy a burden.

Yet we keep shouldering on until our bodies are broken, our spirits shattered and we’re left disconnected from the very people for whom we sacrifice so much.

What if there was another way?

When we accept others’ freedom, we don’t get angry, feel guilty, or withdraw our love when they set boundaries with us. When we accept others’ freedom, we feel better about our own.” ~ Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries

Inhale Simplicity, Exhale Burdens…
Inhale Freedom, Exhale Burdens…
Inhale Boundaries, Exhale Burdens…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

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Protect

There is a fine line between the boundaries that help us own what belongs to us and the borders that keep everybody and most emotions at bay. Healthy boundaries can protect us from ourselves. Borders and emotional walls can prevent us from experiencing humanity… others’ and our own.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Galations 6: 4-5

Inhale Boundaries, Exhale Borders…
Inhale Protection, Exhale Overexposed…
Inhale Ownership, Exhale Blame…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
#Humanity

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Reconciliation

We often tie forgiveness and reconciliation together. But forgiveness and reconciliation are separate processes. Forgiveness is something each of us can do on our own. Reconciliation requires the participation of another person or entity.

True reconciliation cannot happen without forgiveness. But we can forgive, yet consciously determine reconciliation is not possible…

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts.” Proverbs 4:23, MSG

Inhale Forgiveness, Exhale Forgetting…
Inhale Reconciliation, Exhale Resentment…
Inhale Boundaries, Exhale Enabling…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
#Forgiveness

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Permission to Speak

Someone recently requested a favor of me, a favor that would have inconvenienced me. I was assured I could say NO… which I promptly did.

The giving of permission to refuse stood out not because it wasn’t required but because it reflects a reality– we often do things we don’t want to do because we give more weight to other’s feelings than our own.

But what I’ve learned as I mature is you aren’t obligated to do things that don’t serve your greatest good, you aren’t required to say yes to anything not in your best interests, and you don’t need permission to say no.

“No” is a complete sentence.” ~ Anne Lamott

Inhale Freedom, Exhale Obligation…
Inhale Empowerment, Exhale Compulsion…
Inhale Boundaries, Exhale Burdens…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

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