Recovering Superwoman

I can admit to being a recovering perfectionist. In my defense, I’ve found that being less than perfect in this country can be fatal for a woman of color. We are not permitted mediocrity or mistakes.

Yes, I expect that the documents sent are the documents requested. I expect that the email used to convey the document is grammatically correct.

Is that too much to ask for Wednesday?

“Perfection is not attainable but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.” ~ Vince Lombardi

Inhale Verification, Exhale Inattention…
Inhale Confirmation, Exhale Negligence…
Inhale Spell Check, Exhale Transcription Errors…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

I often say women would rather be called the B-word than selfish. But the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves to meet the sometimes imagined expectations of our various roles sometimes becomes too heavy a burden.

Yet we keep shouldering on until our bodies are broken, our spirits shattered and we’re left disconnected from the very people for whom we sacrifice so much.

What if there was another way?

“When we accept others’ freedom, we don’t get angry, feel guilty, or withdraw our love when they set boundaries with us. When we accept others’ freedom, we feel better about our own.” ~ Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, Boundaries

Inhale Simplicity, Exhale Burdens…
Inhale Freedom, Exhale Burdens…
Inhale Boundaries, Exhale Burdens…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

Blaming Superwoman

Charley Bordelon West, middle child of the fictional Bordelon family from Oprah’s OWN “Queen Sugar” is a black woman we don’t get to see often on TV. Stunning, smart and strategic, she is usually the smartest person in whatever room she occupies.

This season has been all about the cracks in the façade of control she presents to the world. Yet during a curated discussion of the show with other women, Charley’s revelation of just a sliver of vulnerability…the escape of a tightly held tear down her face…elicited derision and suspicion.

It was a familiar reaction and reminded me that we often don’t even permit ourselves or each other the dimensions and layers of a richly imagined character…

“We’ve been raised in a culture that denies us the value of experiencing our sadness. I believe our tears are a sign of release…a natural part of our emotional cleansing system and they promote our ability to heal.” ~ Julia A. Boyd, Girlfriend to Girlfriend

Inhale Vulnerability, Exhale Repression…
Inhale Authenticity, Exhale Suspicion…
Inhale Emotions, Exhale Judgment…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

#ThisISAmerica

I saw the #ThisIsNotUS hashtag trending this past weekend and was gratified to see so many pointing out the obvious…that white men carrying torches, white men beating people of color, white men murdering those with whom they disagree is about as American as it gets.

Now what?

“Each moment describes who you are, and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be.” ~ Bruce D. Schneider, Energy Leadership

Inhale What IS, Exhale Illusion…
Inhale Knowledge, Exhale Willful Ignorance…
Inhale Transformation, Exhale Status Quo…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

American Privilege

I saw a post from a fellow, former military member who was tired of seeing posts about race. What privilege it is to be tired of READING about race…to be exhausted from SEEING images of people harassed, arrested and murdered because of their skin color…to be weary of HEARING about race-based religious persecution.

Maybe instead of wishing the marginalized in America would accept their status and keep their persecution to themselves, those who aren’t having the same experiences could exercise a little empathy and effect some change.

“Don’t just stand by when your neighbor’s life is in danger…” Leviticus 19:16, MSG

Inhale Compassion, Exhale Contempt…
Inhale Humanity, Exhale Hate…
Inhale Action, Exhale Anger…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

American Experiment: American Patriot

Martyr: a person who is killed or who suffers greatly for a religion, cause, etc.

President Barack Obama awards the 2010 Presidential Medal of Freedom to Congressman John Lewis in a ceremony in the East Room of the White House, Feb. 15, 2011. (Official White House Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

American is a great idea, an idea executed under false pretenses, an idea maintained for some through the oppression of others. Americans who believe in the idea and who have tried to help America live up to its ideals have often been called to sacrifice their lives, even to the point of death. These martyrs are no less patriotic than those who don a uniform…

“People must have the desire to get out there, to push and pull, and to never give up, to never get lost in a sea of despair, but to keep the faith.” ~ Congressman John Lewis

#AmericanExperiment

Renita Alexander, Leadership Unlocked

American Religion

White American Evangelicals would have you believe Jesus is white, white American males are oppressed and the only terrorists in this country are of Muslim ancestry. And that they, individually and institutionally, are not the direct beneficiaries of “talents” stolen from black and brown bodies…

“I’m sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning. When you put on your next prayer-performance, I’ll be looking the other way. No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I’ll not be listening. And do you know why? Because you’ve been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. Go home and wash up. Clean up your act. Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings so I don’t have to look at them any longer. Say no to wrong. Learn to do good. Work for justice. Help the down-and-out. Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless.” Isaiah 1: 14-17, MSG

Inhale Love, Exhale Religion…
Inhale Love, Exhale Hypocrisy…
Inhale Love, Exhale Separation…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

American Terror

Apparently, white male supremacists caught up in the fog of a fictitious American history…fearful of their impending replacement as the majority, are willing to burn it all down or blow it all up…

God help us all.

“Hatred, which could destroy so much, never failed to destroy the man who hated, and this was an immutable law.” ~ James Baldwin

Inhale Humanity, Exhale Brutality…
Inhale Humanity, Exhale Hatred…
Inhale Humanity, Exhale Fear…
Just Breathe…

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

My Generation

I am a late Boomer. I was a pre-teen for most of the things that shaped the older Boomers…the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Woodstock, protesting and deploying to Vietnam, putting their lives at risk as foot soldiers for the Civil Rights movement. Boomer 1 got free love…Boomer 2 got AIDS.

We started with such promise, but the Boomers have overseen the disintegration of our infrastructure, disinvestment in our education system, delayed development of our kids, decline in our world standing and deep division in our world views. We are responsible for the election of the last Boomer-in-Chief, #45, and the disaster that is his presidency.

What’s next…nuclear war?

“A good life gets passed on to the grandchildren; ill-gotten wealth ends up with good people.” Proverbs 13:22

Inhale Hope, Exhale Cynicism…
Inhale Action, Exhale Apathy…
Inhale Next, Exhale Control…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

A Grown Woman

In 1944, 19-year-old Lauren Bacall starred in the movie “To Have and Have Not” with Humphrey “Bogie” Bogart in the lead role. The pair sizzled on screen and then off and nobody questioned their age difference or thought the pairing was odd or decried the loss of her adolescence.

That’s because in the eyes of post WWII society, Lauren Bacall was grown.

“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.” ~ Ann Landers

Inhale Developed, Exhale Delayed…
Inhale Mature, Exhale Immature…
Inhale Fully-Grown, Exhale Over-Indulged…
Just Breathe

#JustBreathe
Reflections With Renita

Month: August 2017